Sometimes it does genuinely feel like I’m some kind of experiment. As if I were a Sim character and the player thinks it’s funny to do awful things just to see what happens.

For example, one day I went to Subway to get a nice ol’ six incher at night. After buying it and walking back to my apartment I see a girl walking her dog. It was a cute golden retriever and the owner and I made eye contact. Gross, I know. I thought to just keep on staring but I’ve learned before that doing so is weird. So my brain obviously comes up with a nice little compliment about her dog to tell her as we cross by each other.

“Que perra!” I say while smiling (like this 🤡 if you need a mental image). For you americanos this is basically the same as saying “What a bitch!” and “perra” has the same meaning as bitch (female dog and also an insult to women). Just as if you told another fellow american “What a bitch!” to their face, they wouldn’t think you’re trying to compliment their dog.

I think saying this to a woman in the middle of the night in a poorly lit area is not very nice, especially in a country where femicide is a big problem. Her face is a blur to me now, but I’m pretty sure she must’ve either been about to stab me with a knife or about to cry. Therefore, I just said goodnight and ran away.