You’d think years of experience would help me avoid awkward scenarios and act like a normal fucking human being. I thought that too, but here I am writing the section for my time during college. Blah blah boring pre-face stuff that doesn’t matter blah blah let me get into actual stuff.

Everyone who’s enrolled in my college has to do two credits of physical education courses and I thought baseball would be a good choice since a pretty girl in highschool once complimented me for hitting a homerun (I’m pretty stacked, I know). Sadly, there were no spots left in the course since baseball is basically the most popular sport here. Anyhow, on to my second choice: soccer.

I played on a soccer team when I was a baby and also for a little bit when I was in middle school. Clearly I had reason to be confident enough to think my neglected soccer skills would hold up for another decade. Therefore, when a girl in the class asked me if I had played before I obviously had to answer with

“Yeah I’ve been playing since I was little.”

Whatever, it’s a tiny white lie. It’s not even entirely false so how could it possibly affect me? Well, this girl was bold enough to tell my lie to the professor when he asked for a volunteer to do drills as an example to others.

Now, a normal person would simply decline to avoid making a fool of themselves. But you know me, I’m not gonna do that. So he told me to do this and that and then this and that and blah blah. Honestly, I barely even understood what he said because I was trembling due to the fact I had to show off my soccer skills to a whole class of strangers.

“Ok, show them how to do those drills :)” he said. I don’t know if it was the nervousness and adrenaline that gave me superhuman powers or something, but I ended up being able to do each one of the drills perfectly, setting the bar real high for the others taking the class.

Just like I lied to that girl, I’m lying to you right now. I’m sorry, I can’t lie to you my precious reader so I’ll tell you the truth. I messed up each one ｍｕｌｔｉｐｌｅ times to the point were the professor just told me that was “good” enough and proceeded to do them himself. Yikes, pretty embarrassing so I should probably think before doing, right?

Wrong. My brain doesn’t let me do that, I don’t know why. If you know a professional who might be interested in my brain, please tell them to pass me ten dollars through ATH Movil and to then call me. Ok, maybe don’t let them call me that really can’t end well, so uh, email me 😊.